This is Getting Ridiculous

Two brand new boxes of kleenex. Gone.

Two Things I Can't Believe

1. I went to a Doobie Brothers concert last night.*

2. All the !$#?@*% snacks are gone again.**



*"I want to hear some funky dixieland, pretty mama gonna take me by the hand...by the hand hand...take me by the hand pretty mama...." So I knew more words to more songs than I should probably admit. Everyone in the audience looked...well, old....so it was a great relief to discover (when I googled it this morning) that the Doobies actually started performing before I was born. Whew.

**Obviously I'm no Nancy Drew. Game back on, snack stealers.

I Hate Cheap

Well, the mystery is solved. I don't like being Nancy Drew nearly as much as I always dreamed I would...but then of course her mysteries always had something really cool like an old clock or a hidden stairway. My mystery had missing snacks and cups.

Yes, cups. An entire sleeve of styrofoam cups went missing yesterday afternoon, too. And then later in the day, I noticed several unusual cars in the parking lot. Further investigation led me to find that a resident was having her bridge club over to play cards.

Some background: This particular resident redefines the word cheap. Ever since moving in, she and her husband are constantly trying to get something for nothing, like free meals for their guests. They actually were taking our newspaper every day so they wouldn't have to pay for their own subscription. They wanted us to pay for their moving fees. And on and on and on. So these people are the cheapest of cheap. The kind that takes all the pennies out of the "have-a-penny-leave-a-penny" dish at gas stations and goes through the dumpster behind grocery stores to get the expired food. That kind of cheap.

I began to hypothesize. Cheap Resident knew bridge club was coming over. She needed to provide what to her guests? SNACKS!! And....DRINKS! I'm sure she thought she really scored when she found the sleeve of styrofoam cups so that she wouldn't even have wash any glasses.

So, last night I tell Hubby my theory. He, being the voice of reason he is, reminds me that I can't really blame Cheap Resident without a witness or proof.

Proof? Incredibly, I was invited into Cheap Resident's home just this morning because the husband had fallen and needed help getting up. To try and avoid noticing he was wearing nothing but too loose tidy whities, I diverted my gaze elsewhere. And just what do you suppose I saw on the kitchen island?

I hate cheap.

The Plot Thickens

Everything disappeared again overnight except for this:

The Mystery of the Missing Snacks

We have a snack bar. It is kept fully stocked of various goodies that on any given day might include freshly baked cookies, muffins, fruit, trail mix, or various bags of chips. As everyone knows, snacks are important, therefore the snack bar is always full of goodies. Always. Until this morning:




I asked WorkerBee why there weren't any snacks* this morning. With a raised eyebrow and and exaggerated whisper, she says "This happened all weekend. Every time we fill it up, in a little while everything is gone again."

WOO HOO!!! I am so excited I just did a row of cartwheels down the hall! I ALWAYS wanted to be Nancy Drew. And now, finally, 25 years after consuming every single Nancy Drew mystery story in the school library, I've got my very own mystery to sleuth. Snack stealers, beware.


*ahem...not because I was looking for a Monster Cookie or anything. I didn't even know there were Monster Cookies. Yeah, that's right. I was worried about the poor, underfed and snackless residents. How could there be no Monster Cookies, er, uh I mean snacks for them?!? What an outrage!