I have a confession to make. While the occasional flying fork makes pretty funny dinner conversation, and knowing and loving Gladys is one of my life's greatest pleasures....the Alfer Life isn't always shits and giggles.
Sometimes it flat out sucks.
It flat out sucks when someone has rheumatoid arthritis so crippling that all she can do is moan...or even worse....cry if someone tries to move her. It flat out sucks when my 102 year old has to stay at the nursing home because the heart attack that should have killed her didn't (and trust me, she's pissed about it).
And selfishly....did I mention SELFISHLY? It flat out sucks when someone falls in the middle of the night and I'm the only one who can go help. I like to sleep!! And when the phone rings at 3:54 a.m.....well, as I said, it flat out sucks. The ugly self-talk that follows my poor reaction pretty much sucks, too. No one is meaner to me than me. After I spent an hour holding the hand of an 88 -year old resident with the worst skin tear I've ever seen (I could actually see the fat under the skin, and it ended up taking 17 stitches to put her back together) all I could do is berate myself for being annoyed that my slumber had been interrupted. What could have been more important than being with and comforting someone in pain? NOTHING. Yet, I was annoyed that I had to drag my selfish ass out of bed and drive the 2.2 miles from my cozy, warm bed to Rock Ridge at the ungodly hour of 4am.
I'm exhausted. (Did I mention the phone rang at 3:54 in the freaking morning?)
I'm racing tomorrow.
The weather forecast is lousy.
My IT band is killing me.
I wish I wasn't going.
I spent an hour this morning learning things about a resident I never would have known had I not had the opportunity to sit with her.
I've had two glasses of wine.
My TrueLove (aka hubby) is making me cheese crackers as I type.
I'm racing tomorrow.
Oh, and this Foto Friday picture:
This is my "Grammie D," Ellie D'Ambrosio. This picture was taken last December in Boston. She died in January.
I do miss her...but I visited her faithfully at least once a year from the time I was able to scratch together enough dough for a plane ticket, up until she was diagnosed with the lung disease.
We were all good.
What more could you ask for?
3 months ago