More Marvin

Remember Marvin? Well, in just one day he:

1. Yelled at the top of his voice demanding more milk at breakfast, scaring everyone in the dining room

2. Offered one WorkerBee money for some " lovin' "

3. Asked 88-year-old Resident if she would like to come back to his apartment and "lay" with him

4. Asked another WorkerBee if she "ever got busy in a hen house," and proceeded to tell her how much fun it was to "do it" with the chickens

And lastly,
5. Stopped to take a leak in the mop bucket, which was in the hallway*.


*yes, someone saw him do it.

.

She's Got a Ticket to Ride

I'm sitting in my office acting busy and hear my assistant talking with a resident outside the door.

Assistant: "Hi Marvin! How are you today?"

Marvin: "Well, that's what I was just sitting here thinking about."

Assistant: "And what have you decided?"

Marvin: "That I'd sure like to know where I could find some pussy."

I choke on my coffee. Assistant exclaims "Marvin, that is inappropriate!" Marvin says something else even worse. Assistant tells him to stop talking like that, but he keeps at it. He tells Assistant many things best left unsaid by someone as old and stinky as Marvin. He even offered her money.

So Assistant says "Bible Study starts in ten minutes. I think maybe it would be a good idea for you to go today." I have to admit, I admire her quick thinking about the Bible Study. However, she should have thought her next move through a little better.

Marvin: "I would go, but I don't want to walk that far."

Assistant: (planning to take him in the wheelchair) "That's no problem. I'll just give you a ride."

Just use your imagination. I didn't just choke on the coffee this time, it actually came out my nose.