Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Day in the (Alfer) Life

5:30am Alarm sounds. Roll over and go back to sleep.

5:39am Alarm sounds. Hubby says "It's 5:39, Runner Girl." I consider flipping him the bird but realize it's too dark for him to see it. Ruminate on how much DST sucks because it's still dark at 5:39am.

5:41am Groan and drag my dead butt out of bed and wonder why I run.

6:00am Meet Running Partner at the trail. Remember why I run. Smile.

8:00am Arrive at Rock Ridge. Blink headlights at apartment window of bedridden resident. Wait for him to blink his flashlight in reply. Smile.

8:15am Sing good morning to the residents eating breakfast. Consider the fact they would probably like to flip me the bird. Smile.

8:30am Worker Bee wants to "let me know" that a resident smells like poop. ???

10:00am Gladys comes the office to report her coat has been stolen. Smile.

10:47am Joseph comes to the office to find out how he can get to mass. Smile.

10:55am Gladys comes to the office to report her coat has been stolen. Smile.

11:15am WorkerBee comes to office to lodge complaint against her supervisor.

11:27am Gladys comes to the office to report her coat has been stolen. Smile.

12:00pm Mr. Lights-Are-On-But-No-One-Is-Home comes to lunch wearing his pajamas over the top of his clothes. Smile. (he's adorable)

12:01pm Mrs. Sunbather tells me in a (very loud) stage whisper that Mr. Lights-Are-On-But-No-One-Is-Home is wearing pajamas. Smile at her attempt at discretion.

12:05pm Gladys reports her coat has been stolen. Smile.

12:06pm Mr. Lights-Are-On-But-No-One-Is-Home gets up from the dining room table.

12:07pm Mrs. Sunbather tells me that Mr. Lights-Are-On-But-No-One-Is-Home has not eaten yet.

12:08pm Joseph asks how he can get to mass. TRY to smile.

12:09pm Amidst chaos (and in the dining room...ew!) another resident reports their toilet needs plunged.

12:10pm Decide I need to leave for lunch. Consider drinking my lunch. Thought makes me smile. Have a sandwich in the peace and quiet of my own home instead.

12:45pm Reluctantly leave my nice spot on the deck and drive back to Rock Ridge. Blink lights. Smile at flashlight.

1:15pm Gladys reports her coat has been stolen. Smile.

1:30pm Get stopped by Little Miss Chatterbox. Talks and talks and talks and talks. The chatter is so nonsensical I can't help but smile.

1:38pm Gladys saves me by asking where I was headed. "To get a drink," I replied. "It sounds like she's already had one," Gladys retorts, nodding her head at Little Miss Chatterbox. Smile and laugh my head off.

2:00pm Joseph comes to the office to find out about mass. Again. Smile. Again.

2:05pm Resident reminds me toilet need plunged.

2:54pm Gladys reports her coat has been stolen. Smile.

3:20pm Mrs. Torrance (I decided to call her this because her eyes looked exactly like Jack Nicholson's in The Shining!!!) comes to the office to tell me there is a conspiracy against her and that if anything happens to her that I should insist on an autopsy. She goes into great detail.

3:40pm Frantically IM Assistant to come save me.

3:43pm IM Assistant that she's fired.

3:48pm Assistant finally comes to my aid. Declares an emergency to get me out of the office and away from the crazy lady. As I walk away Mrs. Torrance shouts "dont' trust anyone!"

4:00pm Worker Bee, oh never mind.

4:30pm Resident reminds me toilet needs plunged. Consider flipping the bird...but smile instead.

5:00pm Realize that I have not accomplished one single task on to-do list, but have smiled more than most people do in a week. Consider myself lucky.


Diana said...

Did you ever fill out a police report for Glady's coat???!!!!

I love them old people!

Carolina John said...

that is a lot of smiling. nice!

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

How many coats does Gladys HAVE? Hahahahaha!

Did you ever hear the version of "ADitL" that was used for the Love album? It includes JL's count-in (he was known for some, ahem, unusual count-ins), which was "Sugarplum fairy, sugarplum fairy."

For some reason, that count-in seems appropriate for Life At The Ridge!