Manic Monday

The ambulance was here when I got to work this morning. The resident, who just KNEW she had a blood clot and insisted the ambulance be called, came back with a brace and the diagnosis of tendonitis.

*****

Garnet accused a WorkerBee of stealing her mirror and "pick comb." She was ugly about it. She yelled at me when I suggested perhaps it wasn't stolen, just misplaced. Then I found the mirror and "pick comb" on the counter of her guest bathroom. Of course she has no idea how it got there...and no apologies were offered.

*****

I mixed up the meaning of the word "lavatory." I've worked here long enough to know that a lavatory is a bathroom sink (and a davenport is a sofa...I've learned lots of interesting vocabulary at this job). Why then, this morning did I think lavatory meant toilet? It turned out to be a very embarrasing conversation.

*****

WorkerBee caught Cheap Resident pocketing a salt shaker. (These people remind me of the Thenardier's from Les Mis, when they attend Marius and Cosette's wedding and sing Beggars at the Feast. You can clean up the people and put them in a nice place, but at heart they are what they are. Which in this case, is CHEAP.)

*****

Loco Lady

I really do love this job. Lots of hugs, laughs, feel-good stuff. But if there was ever a person who could make me reconsider this career path...it is Cheap Resident. She drives me completely crazy! Besides being cheap, she's also rude. She expects me to drop whatever it is Im doing when she wants a phone guide that I've already given her six times since she moved in. She barges right into the office and starts talking, even if am I'm with someone, am on the phone, or otherwise engaged. On Sunday, she made a staff member call Maintenance Man in on his day off because her washer was broken. Maintenance Man drove to Rock Ridge to pull the knob out on the washer!! And just now she barged in to tell me her key is broken off in her lock on the door, and it's my fault because when I gave her the key it was already bent. Just like I'm in the habit of even keeping bent keys, let alone distributing them. What exactly would a person have to be doing to break a key?!?

I could go on and on, but I won't. I'm just going to go pull my hair out. One strand at a time.

Underwear Everywhere

I am officially declaring this "underclothes week" at the Ridge.

Our easily embarrassed and unsuspecting maintenance man went to do a job for Cheap Resident. Cheap Resident's hubby answered the door. Wearing just his tidy whities. (at least his weren't on his head, I guess)

Averting his eyes so not to take in THAT view, Maintenance Man's gaze settles on Cheap Resident herself standing in the living room. Wearing what he would later describe as a purple, lacey bra.

And now Maintenance Man wants to know if he can get worker's comp for being struck blind while on duty.

I Hate Cheap

Well, the mystery is solved. I don't like being Nancy Drew nearly as much as I always dreamed I would...but then of course her mysteries always had something really cool like an old clock or a hidden stairway. My mystery had missing snacks and cups.

Yes, cups. An entire sleeve of styrofoam cups went missing yesterday afternoon, too. And then later in the day, I noticed several unusual cars in the parking lot. Further investigation led me to find that a resident was having her bridge club over to play cards.

Some background: This particular resident redefines the word cheap. Ever since moving in, she and her husband are constantly trying to get something for nothing, like free meals for their guests. They actually were taking our newspaper every day so they wouldn't have to pay for their own subscription. They wanted us to pay for their moving fees. And on and on and on. So these people are the cheapest of cheap. The kind that takes all the pennies out of the "have-a-penny-leave-a-penny" dish at gas stations and goes through the dumpster behind grocery stores to get the expired food. That kind of cheap.

I began to hypothesize. Cheap Resident knew bridge club was coming over. She needed to provide what to her guests? SNACKS!! And....DRINKS! I'm sure she thought she really scored when she found the sleeve of styrofoam cups so that she wouldn't even have wash any glasses.

So, last night I tell Hubby my theory. He, being the voice of reason he is, reminds me that I can't really blame Cheap Resident without a witness or proof.

Proof? Incredibly, I was invited into Cheap Resident's home just this morning because the husband had fallen and needed help getting up. To try and avoid noticing he was wearing nothing but too loose tidy whities, I diverted my gaze elsewhere. And just what do you suppose I saw on the kitchen island?

I hate cheap.