Gladys Goodie

Gladys is outside my office door, sitting in her normal chair. As I walked by to drop something in the mailbox she remarked that I always "look so perky."

"I think you're always pretty perky yourself, Gladys. That must be what keeps you so young," I reply.

"Oh, I wish I were young," she sighs.

"What would you do?" I ask, not really knowing what else to say. She hesitates for only a fraction of a second and comes up with this gem: "Much of the same things I've already done."

I love this woman! Her comment, though said casually, is certainly profound. At 92, she could be outside my office door sitting in a chair thinking about all the parts of her life she wished she could do over. Everyone has things they wish they could do over, Gladys included. What I think we forget sometimes is that those regrets are actually very few in number in the big picture, and while some regrets stick around longer than others, the most important thing is to LET IT GO at some point. If we spend a lifetime giving energy to regrets they will ultimately hold us captive....and someday we'll turn out to be the grumpy asshole at the Assisted Living that no one wants to sit with at lunch.

Instead of dwelling on her "do-overs," Gladys is sitting out there in that chair remembering everything else that has been good about her life. I think she is living proof that a positive attitude and sunny outlook will cultivate a happy life. She has Alzheimer's. She does not know what year it is. She cannot remember her roommate died.

But she is happy.

She makes me happy. Have I mentioned I love her?

Meeting of the Minds

Last week we had a Resident Council Meeting. These are a big deal with much talk and preamble leading up to meeting day. Typically, this is a meeting where all the residents attend and then bitch, er I mean, talk about everything that is wrong and needs fixed around this dump. Needless to say, I was dreading this meeting as much as I do the treadmill.

As it turns out, the dread was most unnecessary and the meeting was amazing! This resident council meeting was 1000% different than any other Resident Council Meeting in the history of Rock Ridge. At this meeting, after they did all their cute Robert's Rules of Order stuff and opened the floor for commentary, residents actually stood up and said what the liked about Rock Ridge! They talked about everything that was going right! The consensus was that things couldn't be better! One resident even teared up while talking about how he feels he doesn't deserve to be treated so well and how much he loves everyone here. It was such a positive meeting, that the lone complainer had even changed his attitude before he was finished trying to complain, and I don't think he even realized it! This was such a cool thing to witness, considering the extremely negative history of past council meetings. Actually, it was pretty damn awesome.

The Good: Assistant says I'm the one who has set the tone and helped make this a more positive place to work and live. While I do not believe that this is the case, (it takes a strong team of a lot of positive people to turn negativity around) it was still a wonderful compliment that made me feel good.


The Bad: During the meeting, one resident stood and read the names of all the residents who have died, as a sort of memorial. It was a nice tribute, but I think it made everyone feel a little melancholy. There were so many names...more than we let ourselves remember on a daily basis.


The Inevitable: When Naomi's* name was read, Gladys sat up straight in her chair, gasped audibly, and loudly exclaimed "Naomi Lastname certainly IS NOT dead!" Then she slumped back in her chair and muttered under her breath "She just wants everyone to think she is."

God, I love her.

Perpetual Optimism

Do you know that if you really believe something is going to happen...it actually will!?! Have you ever noticed that it seems like happy and optimistic people have better luck?

I think I can...the universal law of attraction... getting back what you put out...positive thinking. It's all the same. And it really, truly, works. Wow.

You Just Never Know

"Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious, one should preserve it."
~Anais Nin

This guy shows up here and is interested in an apartment for his father. He seems familiar, somehow, but I can't put my finger on it. After a long conversation he told me that they had been here over a year ago, but at that time it wasn't the right fit for his parents. His mom has since died, and now Dad needs a place to live. The reason he came back? Because Rock Ridge "felt good." He remembers how positive and happy the staff seemed, and said how nice and understanding I was when he came to ask for his parents' deposit back.

So I've been sitting here thinking, what if I had been having a bad day and didn't come off as nice or understanding? He wouldn't have come back! It's incredible to me how a five-minute interaction with someone can resurface over a year later. An encounter I couldn't even remember left an impression. Wow.

A similar thing happened several years ago. I was at the mall and this couple with a child kept looking at me like they knew me. Finally the husband approached me and asked if I used to work at the hospital. I told him I did. He said, "we thought that was you! We were there for an ultrasound and you registered us. We were scared to death because the doctor thought there might be a problem with the baby, and you were so nice to us. You told us you would pray for us."

I did not remember these people. I did not remember the discourse with them. But they remembered a simple conversation that made them feel a little better that day.

You just never know when what you say or do might affect someone in a postive way. This is my reminder today that every interaction I have is important. If I don't feel good or am not having a good day or I'm stressed because I have so much to do that is no excuse to not still be friendly and positive. Because maybe five years later a couple will walk up to you out of the blue and want to introduce you to their beautiful, perfect son. Or maybe a son who just lost his mother will know that his Dad will be loved and cared for...just because he had a good feeling when he talked to you. You just never know.