Thursday, February 26, 2009

Weebles What?

Disclaimer: I'm not usually this mean about unfortunate occurences involving my residents. (But damn, does this guy ever deserve it!)

Whoever said weebles wobble but they don't fall down was wrong, because it turns out that they DO fall down. Well, at least the human version does. A better slogan in this particular case would be weebles wobble but they can't get back up.
Remember Righteous Resident? If not, you really should read this post as it provides a somewhat amusing illustration of his character. He is also the resident who once gave me a 30-minute sermon about how the Bible says sodomy and homosexuality are sins and when I retorted with "The Bible also says Judge Not" when he began using derogatory slurs he got all red-faced and pissed and I actually thought he might have a stroke. OH, and speaking of derogatory could I forget overhearing him use the "N" word when telling another resident that his daughter has biracial children. Class act, this guy.

Righteous Resident resembles a weeble more than any human being I've ever seen. I swear he is shaped almost exactly like this picture only much, much bigger. (Did I mention MUCH bigger?) He bulges from his neck to his feet. I've never seen anyone shaped quite like this. It's an amazing thing to behold.

Well, apparently Righteous Resident had a mishap in which he ended up on the ground outside his apartment. He was carrying two dozen eggs, which upon first whiff one could surmise were well past the use-by date (unrelated to the story yet amusing none-the-less). Since he was actually outside at the time of the incident, his emergency button would not work. Knowing that he had to get to the building before he could alert someone, he did the only thing a human weeble could. He rolled. All the way to the door.

Now, I understand this may not seem so funny, especially considering he could have been hurt. But he wasn't hurt! And when you consider the fact that this life-sized weeble would first have to get a "running start" to even roll over once, you can't help but snicker. C'mon! Admit it! Just picture this humongous weeble rocking back and forth (like a car with bald tires trying to get unstuck from the mud) just to roll over once... only to discover that he needs to repeat this action over and over and over to get to the door. That's funny. I don't care who ya are.


Carolina John said...

allright, that is funny. i always appreciate seeing people get what they deserve, whether it's good or bad.

Unknown said...

the real question is whether or not he dropped the eggs and had to roll through them. now THAT would be funny.

Sarah said...

OK - but where did the eggs come from?! And I did giggle. I would pay massive amounts of money to see that.

P.O.M. said...

Yeah, funny for sure. Ya feel bad for laughing, but ya still laugh.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

I'm laughing and I don't feel bad about it. The only way I'd feel bad is if I had somehow caused this to happen, or contributed to it in some way. You don't wish this type of accident on someone, even an @$$hole, but I'm gonna enjoy a guilt-free laugh when it happens to someone who deserves it.

Teh 'Bride and I were recently watching a documentary on the abuse of the Bible by narrow-minded homophobes. I wish I could remember the name of it - it was excellent.(For the Bible tells Me So, I think.) It puts the OT's alleged condemnation of homosexuality in context - there are literally SCORES of things the OT says are abominations, including things like eating shell fish, but the narrow-minded bigots ignore these inconvenient prohibitions (because believing these prohibitions would mean the bigots are Hell-bound) and use the one re: homosexuality to justify their bigotry. And even THAT prohibition (like the others) has to be understood in the context of a new nation (Israel) that needed to INCREASE its numbers for the sake of survival. (That's also why God smote Onan for "spilling his seed on the ground" - the Catholic Church erroneously sees this as a prohibition against all forms of birth control. But the reason Onan needed to impregnate his wife was, again, because of the threat to a tiny fledgling nation that really DID need to grow to defend itself.)

In other words, everything- yes, even the Bible - has a context, and it is doing violence to a work of literature when you pull random quotes out of context.

But people like weeble-man revel in their ignorance and give a bad name to the truly pious who try to understand their religion, not use it as a weapons against others.

Sorry to go all mediaeval in this comment! As you can see, this kind of bigotry really get on my t*t!