Disclaimer: I'm not usually this mean about unfortunate occurences involving my residents. (But damn, does this guy ever deserve it!)
Whoever said weebles wobble but they don't fall down was wrong, because it turns out that they DO fall down. Well, at least the human version does. A better slogan in this particular case would be weebles wobble but they can't get back up.
Remember Righteous Resident? If not, you really should read this post as it provides a somewhat amusing illustration of his character. He is also the resident who once gave me a 30-minute sermon about how the Bible says sodomy and homosexuality are sins and when I retorted with "The Bible also says Judge Not" when he began using derogatory slurs he got all red-faced and pissed and I actually thought he might have a stroke. OH, and speaking of derogatory slurs...how could I forget overhearing him use the "N" word when telling another resident that his daughter has biracial children. Class act, this guy.
Righteous Resident resembles a weeble more than any human being I've ever seen. I swear he is shaped almost exactly like this picture only much, much bigger. (Did I mention MUCH bigger?) He bulges from his neck to his feet. I've never seen anyone shaped quite like this. It's an amazing thing to behold.
Well, apparently Righteous Resident had a mishap in which he ended up on the ground outside his apartment. He was carrying two dozen eggs, which upon first whiff one could surmise were well past the use-by date (unrelated to the story yet amusing none-the-less). Since he was actually outside at the time of the incident, his emergency button would not work. Knowing that he had to get to the building before he could alert someone, he did the only thing a human weeble could. He rolled. All the way to the door.
Now, I understand this may not seem so funny, especially considering he could have been hurt. But he wasn't hurt! And when you consider the fact that this life-sized weeble would first have to get a "running start" to even roll over once, you can't help but snicker. C'mon! Admit it! Just picture this humongous weeble rocking back and forth (like a car with bald tires trying to get unstuck from the mud) just to roll over once... only to discover that he needs to repeat this action over and over and over to get to the door. That's funny. I don't care who ya are.